Motherhood Down The Rabbit Hole

mothers and uncertainty
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I have always been fascinated with the rabbit in Alice in Wonderland; and to be perfectly honest, not in a healthy way!

This is the true moment when I consider whether telling a lie would be better than just blurting out the honest to goodness truth…….but, honesty prevails.

My fascination is not firmly rooted in awe of the character, no my dear fellow harrowed mothers, it is in the fact that I can unequivocally relate to the harried, frenzied scuffle of the white rabbit. Oh, how I wish I could be Alice; so innocent and calm even when faced with uncertainty!

Yes, I am admitting to being one of those mothers (right now I am inclined to hang my head in shame; but being a strong woman, I instead straighten my shoulders; and puff my chest out!).

Yes, yes and yes!!

I am the mom who gets those pitiful stares because the school bell rang 5 minutes ago and here I am scurrying like a mad hare with three straggling children none of whom seem to feel the same urgency, and one of which I am sure did not even brush their hair or teeth!

But hey, this is my motherhood and I NEED to just get through the day to know that I am an awesome bunny!

The audible sigh of relief from all my “White Rabbit” cohorts is encouraging; I hear you all!

So, is there a solution?

How many times have you tried a new way of doing things?

It works for a few days, maybe even a week if you lucky before it all turns into the Mad Hatter merged with the White Rabbit!!

Take heart my beautiful, strong, eternally exhausted mommies, there is a solution and you simply need to find the right one for you.

Here is what I found worked for my disorganized, creative brain!

  1. Set EVERY, and yes I do mean EVERY clock in your home ahead of time! Not one clock in my home was set at the right time and not one clock was set at the same time. All were ahead in varying degrees (it is really helpful to ask your spouse to do this task so that you don’t know the true time!). Genius!! I know!  I think!
  2. Set routines such as; bedtime and supper time coincided with certain TV shows (true to my disorganized nature, our TV was an ever constant background noise!). This was the only way I knew the true time, hence my genius clock setting invention. Somehow, this was a good way to keep me in a routine; don’t ask, I don’t have any explanation for this.
  3. When I could not get my children to listen, I turned normal bedtime routines into a game. For example: singing the marching song all the way up the stairs to the bathroom for bath time, or when all else failed….singing all my instructions in opera! Which had my children begging plaintively for me to stop and then realizing the only way to make me stop was to do what they were being instructed to do! An uncontrollable giggle still escapes every time I see their little bodies running frantically trying to get the task done to shut me up! Who’s the White Rabbit now little ducklings!!
  4. Post Its……..I do mean those sticky little sanity-saving blocks of colored paper. These colorful reminders were found on every surface of my home. Note to eager beavers who are ready to rush out and spend more than half their monthly household allowance on Post Its right now…..only post them inside cupboard doors and on the outside of the fridge; otherwise, you may end up with a not so happy spouse……OH AND DEFINITELY OUT OF REACH OF ANY CHILDREN…..aka: little Post It snatching bandits!
  5. Rely on a super organized friend/unnatural mommy. On more than one occasion these scary over organized mommies saved my mommy badge, with extra pictures for a project; or an extra set of gym clothes because life is not complicated enough without our child’s school deciding to change things up and have gym class on Wednesday instead of Friday!! Ugh!! I have no shame in using these particular mommies on every that’s today moment.
  6. Bulk buy – I would personally like to take this opportunity to thank the stores that offer bulk purchasing options. I have a genuine phobia of running out of loo paper; not sure why but I just do……and despite this phobia, ended up on several occasions frantically searching for a box of tissues to do the dirty deed. But if you simply take the time do a few bulk purchases for things such as craft and project supplies; snacks etc. then it does eliminate some of those stressful situations.
  7. And last but not least, if all the above fails…….learn these two important sentences……”Can you help me, please?” and “Please help me?”….yeah, notice the incorporation of the all too familiar, “what do you say when you ask for something word”! Lead by example, I say!

But, all white rabbit moments aside….if you feel like you started out like Alice falling down a never-ending bottomless pit of thankless motherhood chores, take courage, all Moms feel like this most of the time.

Even the ones who seem to have it all together! The key is to relax into your role; take each crisis (I would love to simply call them moments but…..) as it comes.

Enjoy those moments where you and your kids are laughing or enjoying the madness of motherhood.

Best advice…………be your own kind of mad white rabbit; function as best you can in your own unique Motherhood Wonderland!!

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mothers and uncertainty
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Written by Angelina Angileri

As a single mom of four incredible children, Angie always says that she has a PHD in “Surviving Life”. Having worked in both the health and financial industry, she eventually found that writing not only “feeds every fiber of her soul” but also hopes that sharing her story and “mamy” skills will inspire other mommies out there.